Parishioner Profile by Nancy Marlowe
Amy Kathleen and Jeff Benninghofen met and fell in love playing the lead roles of F. Scott Fitzgerald and his last love Sheila Graham in the drama, Gatsby in Hollywood. The production was staged at the Metropolitan Theater in Los Angeles, the city where both had acting careers in stage, movies and television.
“We took our roles very seriously,” Jeff said, “and we fell in love and rode off into the sunset.” At this peak in their careers, the couple decided to “quit on a high note.”
“When you get to a certain point in an actor’s life,” Jeff said, “you realize you need to make a transition. Being in show business is accepting the reality that you will always be looking for a job.”
Amy Kathleen is called AK, for short. In addition to her serious acting, AK had success doing commercials. Commercials were high-paying, she said, “but I didn’t want to sell soap. Some of my best creative work was not making a dime.”
The arrival of daughter, Dottie, now 6 ½, convinced them they didn’t want to rear a child in the hectic atmosphere of Los Angeles. AK, whose family is in Mississippi, and Jeff, a Chicagoan, chose to move east to establish family life.
They credit “not getting in God’s way” as events led them to Asheville and All Souls. “You may pray you don’t miss the bus,” Jeff said, “but you better run to catch it.” The “bus” took them on a well-traveled road.
Over the years, AK’s grandfather had arranged family Christmases in Blowing Rock. On these occasions, the Benninghofens flew to Asheville and immediately drove north to that small town. But on one trip, they decided to spend a night in Asheville and look around. They had lunch at Tupelo Honey’s downtown cafe, did a little exploring and decided Asheville is “a cool town.” They moved here in October 2005.
The couple had been active at All Saints Episcopal Church in Los Angeles. The rector there, Ed Bacon, had worked with All Souls’ dean Todd Donatelli in the parish at Jackson, Miss. He notified Todd to be on the lookout for a visit from the Benninghofens, but set no date.
They arrived unannounced at All Souls’ office and asked for Todd. The dean was not in. Brian Cole greeted the visitors with “You must be the Benninghofens” and led them on a tour of the church facilities. “Our first impression,” AK said, “was ‘This is it!”
It was the original “casting call” that paid off. “We never auditioned anyplace else,” Jeff quipped. The newcomers loved All Souls’ architecture, history and aesthetics. They had to adjust to some aspects of the Sunday morning services.
“I was not used to silence in the worship service,” Jeff said. “There was not one unfilled moment in the All Saints’ service. When silences occurred, I thought, ‘Did someone forget his lines?’ I now find that silence relaxing … depending on the behavior of our children.” The family now includes Bert, a lively three year old.
The Benninghofens live in Haw Creek. AK is an at-home mother and writer and Jeff is director of operations for Overhead Door of the High Country. “Business is up and down,” he joked of the garage-door company.
AK will be writer in residence at Weymouth Center for the Arts in Southern Pines this summer. She serves on All Souls’ vestry, teaches Sunday school and is mentor to Jamaica Reese-Julien in the Rite 13 youth program at All Souls. Jeff serves on the Care of Creation environmental committee and “provides comic relief” at All Souls’ family events.
In the sense of “it takes a village to rear a child,” the Benninghofens are committed to family worship and sharing in the care of children. “I never know whose child is going to end up sitting on my lap,” said AK, who attends the 9 o’clock service.