from Rev. David Nard
First I want to thank each of you who kept me and my mother in your thoughts and prayers during her last illness. It was comforting to know of your prayers, your cards, and your personal comments to me on Sunday mornings.
I am thankful that my mother could live a good and long life. She was 90, and would say that was too long! But sharing those last five years with her was a blessing to me and Mary Alice.
Fortunately she was able to be active until the last few months. She enjoyed the programs and activities at the Baptist Home where she lived. And she made an effort to remain as independent as possible during those years.
I am still reflecting on the experience of her last days and her dying. It is a process, and even though I work with the dying most everyday at the hospital, there are still new things to learn and to experience.
I found great comfort in helping to feed my mother in her last weeks. That was a new experience for me in our relationship together. I had tried to maintain her independence and her need for care separate from my role with her as her son. It was a way of allowing her to maintain her privacy and her dignity, and a way for me to not “keep busy” with tasks but to be present with her as a son. But feeding her became a way of expressing my care for her and gave us time to talk about when she would feed me as a baby. We laughed about the reversal of roles!
It was a good opportunity to experience Hospice care, and see first hand how helpful that could be for her and for us. We wondered why we waited so long before initiating that care?
We were blest to be able to have those last conversations that are so important, to reaffirm our love over and over again, and to know how important it is to say those things over and over again. We were able to pray together, and in those days when she was not able to have a conversation, just sitting by her bed and praying Morning Prayer or Evening Prayer was a comfort to me and to her I believe.
So, thank you again for your care of Mary Alice and myself. And if you are in a care-giving situation, know how much I appreciate what you are doing and the joys and the sadness that come with that opportunity and responsibility. Ask for help when you need it. Explore the wonderful community resources that are available here, and remember to make this time a prayerful and holy time.
Blessings,
Deacon David